We’ve changed how we grade things here at ViralNfection. There are five categories that we grade a movie/TV show on, and each category gets a score of 0 – 6:
Acting is the one that is easiest to discuss. Sure, the characters can be great, but if the acting is not then the movie falls flat. And vice versa. It’s in the marriage of great characters and great acting that movie classics are born. And yes, acting is important in a movie, but so are the characters – if the characters are not believable; if it is difficult to find some kind of connection with them, then the movie will really suffer. Are the characters well-developed? Does it feel like you could run into them on the street? Do you find some kind of emotional attachment (whether positive or negative) to the characters? These are all important aspects of a film.
What is the story of the movie? Why are these characters that we love doing certain things? Does the story warrant having a two-and-a-half hour film dedicated to it? It’s it easy or difficult for us to get invested in the story?
Anyone can sit behind a camera and piece together scenes to make a movie. But it takes truly exceptional talent to make it an art. And these days, when photoshop can make anything real, a truly good director is hard to find.
These are all the extra things that give a movie that extra little umpf. Was there an instrumental score? Was it good? What about the costumes and the set design? What other things (besides characters, plot and acting) help elevate this movie to another level?
This one is really important to me. I personally own over 250 movies – ones that I love to watch over and over and over again. And my experience with them changes with each different stage of life that I am in when I happen to pop in that DVD. To me, if you can’t watch a movie over and over again, then it can’t be all that great.
So, those five aspects are the criteria on which we are going to base our reviews. Now, how does this work? Each criteria above gets a certain score: perfect, great, good, okay, bad, and terrible. Let’s discuss those really quickly.
There is nothing wrong with this criteria of the film. Everything required for this category just comes together to form a superior package.
There really is nothing wrong with this criteria of the film as well – it is just missing that certain spark that makes something perfect. It’ lacks some quality that would set it above the rest.
This criteria of the movie works. Sure, there are a few issues here and there, but it meets all the basic needs of each criteria.
Well – it wasn’t a total mess. Some of the things worked; unfortunately not all of them did. Could have been better, but could definitely have been a lot worse.
Everything is missing a cohesiveness. For example, if the characters get a score of ‘bad’ – it could be because they lack motivation or they lack desire, or they just aren’t believable. It’s kind of starting to look like a train wreck.
There are no redeeming qualities to this movie. Nothing works. Not even the nicest person in the world could find something positive to say about this assault to the senses.
So, as I said above, each criteria gets assigned a certain score. A ‘perfect’ is worth 6 points; ‘great’ gets 5; ‘good’ gets 4, ‘okay’ receives 3; “bad” barely scrapes by with a 2; and “terrible” is a 1.
At the end of assigning the criteria these numbers, we will add them up and give you a final score. Here is a breakdown of those scores:
- Peak Physical Condition (27 – 30): While this movie might still have its minor flaws here and there, those flaws are not enough to detract from how fantastic this film really is. A movie that gets this score is at the top of its game, and is a movie that everyone should own and watch at least once a month.
- Dr. Recommended (22 – 26): This movie is really good, but it has some issues that keep it from being the best. It is still far and above better than most movies out there, and it is a film that is definitely worth going to the theaters for. Several times – if you are into that sort of thing.
- Clean Bill of Health (17 – 21): This movie is fine – it was entertaining and you have no regrets about having seen it. There are some medium-sized issues that are hard to overlook, but it is far from bad. It’s worth seeing once in the theater.
- Let’s Order Some More Tests (12 – 16): There are some pretty big issues with this movie. As far as good vs bad, it’s about 50/50. I would definitely rent it and save the money that I would have spent seeing it in theaters for something else. Like seeing a better movie in theaters.
- Quarantine (6 – 11): The bad outweighs the good. There are brief glimpses of what a good version of this movie would be, but they are few and far between. I would catch this movie if it were on HBO, or go over to a friend’s house to watch it, but I definitely would not waste my money on this film.
- Flatlined (1 – 5): The majority of this movie is just bad. And not the kind of bad that makes it an instant classic – it is just bad. I wouldn’t watch this movie unless it was playing on an airplane and there was nothing else on. But even then, sleeping is a better choice.
- DOA (0): Don’t even pirate this film. It’s not worth the jail time. I would rather sit on a plane and stare at the back of the seat in front of me for hours than ever watch this movie again. No joke.
So that’s basically it. At the end of every review we will write one of the phrases that accompany the score that the movie received. So if, for example, fictitious movie “John Flop” was a mediocre film, it might get a score at the bottom of the post that says “Quarantine (12).” Does that make sense?